Jesse Hajicek

Whoever logged onto my server as 'Milolovesya' in order to send me cryptic tells: it was sorta cute until you logged out without identifying yourself. I was willing to play along for a few minutes, but I don't appreciate having days to ponder the question of whether this is someone I know being funny, or some creepy stalker kook who's going to hound me and my guildies until we have to bring in a GM, or something in between -- say, someone who thinks I'm there to pay attention to them, rather than play the game.

I don't like surprises.

So, long story short, identify yourself and talk like a real person or I'll put you on ignore. Thank you, drive through.

WoW icon geekery and tempura yams temporarily suffice to distract me from the slow, gentle disintegration of my mind. Itadakimasu!

I am a fearless bandit hunter. I fearlessly hunt bandits. I kill them and take their cheese.

Stop laughing.

Contrary to popular belief, it's possible to play an evil character in a non-evil party without the rest of the party having to kill him. I quite enjoy playing lawful evil characters who make no secret of their alignment, watching good characters waste their time trying to convert this fellow who, after all, must have some good in him if he keeps his promises. Neutral or chaotic evil, you'd probably have to either fake nice, or be one hell of a roleplayer, but you could still do it.

Speaking of RP, I've been playing Yakov the werecat in a game with Rah. I'm having SO MUCH FUN playing a catboy who acts like a cat. I don't know why catboys in manga and fic are always sweetsy-cutesy cuddlesluts. Granted, Yakov is a tomcat and behaves accordingly, but unless he smells a female of his species in heat (which, since he's the only cat-shifter in the world, is not going to happen), sex is just a game. Boys, girls, furniture, whatever -- and he can be distracted from it with toys or food, just like the other way around. Also, when he gets overstimulated, he bites. Not the sexy kind of biting. The 'oh fuck I need sixteen stitches' kind of biting. He's breathtakingly selfish, hoards food, kills things for fun, and recently threw up on a Magical Girl's bedspread. I love Yakov to bits. :D

I've been working on Metanoia script, and the plot for the next story arc is kicking my ass. I have so many plot threads I have to keep hold of at once, and the characters keep doing things I didn't plan on them doing. Milo just spilled a piece of information I'd been counting on Star not knowing, and since it's absolutely in-character and logical for Milo to tell him, I now have to re-think everything that was hanging on Star's ignorance. And Star keeps responding to Zan's relentless reasonableness by... calming down. I don't want him calm! He's supposed to be heading for a breakdown, not learning Zan's maturity by osmosis. I think maybe I need to keep Zan too busy to play supernanny for a while. On the upside, this all makes it way more fun to write. I don't know what's going to happen. I have to write it to find out.

My sleep schedule is completely fucked. I went to bed at 4 in the afternoon and woke up at 1am. I have a doctor's appointment at 4:30 today and a dinner thing at 7, and there's no way I'll be coherent for these. I suck at taking naps, though. I just lie there with my braincogs whirling, tense and bored, and get up more tired than I was when I lay down.

I played WoW for about 6 hours overnight. I just want to say: when I hit 60, those fucking devilsaurs are going DOWN. Bastards keep sneaking up on me while I'm busy with a power crystal or something, and I am holding a grudge. I'm going to be a one-man extinction event, just you wait.

I figured it was time I made some World of Warcraft icons for when I have a geek fit.



If you play a night elf and recognize how very silly they are, feel free to use these. :D

Someone got me thinking about what it would be like if Kastor from the stories met the game version of himself.

Kas: Law's balls, man, what are you WEARING?
Auberlane: Dragonscale mail. Made it myself. Why can't I see your level?
Kas: My what?
Auberlane: Please stop targeting my cat.
Kas: That's yours? *puts bow away* Keep it off me, is all I'm saying.
Auberlane: You must be pretty high level. You can't get a full black suit at low levels.
Kas: You know what, I'm not even going to ask you to explain that. Or why your eyes are glowing, or what's wrong with your ears. I just have one question.
Auberlane: Uh... okay?
Kas: What does 'AFK' mean?
Auberlane: Means you're taking a piss.
Kas: Without undoing your trousers?
Auberlane: Yep. Handy, isn't it?
Kas: Yeah. Almost handy enough to justify carrying fifty pounds of leather on your shoulders.
Auberlane: Hey, I skinned about a hundred scorpids to make these. :(
Kas: How'd you do that?
Auberlane: Do what?
Kas: You SAID a frown instead of doing it! o_O
Kas: HOLY SHIT WHAT DID I JUST SAY O_O
Kas: MAKE IT STOP @_@
Auberlane: Chill, dude.
Kas: WHY IS MY NAME HOVERING OVER MY HEAD
Kas: OMFG WTF
Kas: ... what did I just say?
Auberlane: That you're a noob. Christ, read your manual.
Auberlane: Gotta go, questing.
Kas: ...
Kas: Come back and teach me that cool flippy jump you just did.
Kas: Hey.
Kas: :(

Well, Seebs and I did a dungeon crawl, and I feel a fair bit better. No more motivated or inspired, but at least somewhat optimistic that I eventually will be.

Gawd this winter was a waste though.

Oh well. At least I've killed the Obsidian Golem. Nearly bloody soloed the bastard, too, because it reflects magic. Seebs's mage was running around like a bitch whacking the shard golems with his little stick, it was cute. :D *ducks as a fireball whistles overhead* I mean manly! It was manly! (My magic resistance sucks.)

Okay, actually I have a slightly more serious observation related to that. I tend to avoid groups in WoW, even though I'd level faster and get better loot if I did more group runs. I usually avoid dungeon quests until I can solo them, even though by that time the monsters give me no xp and the quest reward is useless to me. It's the same avoidant attitude I have toward people in the meatworld, only compressed into a much simpler, and thus more obvious, environment. Whenever that little group-invite box pops up, I automatically hit the 'decline' button. It's so automatic, in fact, that I've accidentally turned down someone I /intended/ to group with, because the group box fills me with panic and hitting 'decline' is a reflex.

I don't trust people to behave in a way I understand, and I don't trust them not to make drama. It pervades my life, this fear of people acting weird and punishing me for not getting it. I can take pills for general anxiety, but there are no pills that will make me understand people.

But all this bitching is going somewhere good. See, when I do group quests with Seebs, they go slick as butter. We make a plan, we stick to it, and if it doesn't work, we revise the plan. We're scientific and calm about it. Even when we're getting our asses kicked, we keep our heads. We can mock each other's weaknesses, even. (Speaking of which, if you want Seebs out of the way for a couple hours so you can wrap his birthday present or something, give him a quest in Badlands. Man can NOT find his way out of there with both hands and a thottbot.) Even if the whole thing goes south and we both end up dead, we do our swearing and then shrug, and by the time we've reclaimed our corpses we've analyzed what went wrong and are eager to take a different tack. We LIKE solving problems.

So I was thinking about that, and I realized: okay, I'm afraid of people, but not all of them. Not only are there individuals I trust, there's a /type/ of person I trust. Calm, curious, hackerish people make SENSE to me. I'm not scared of them. Not even a little. I can be relaxed around them. I can get things done with them.

Once I start getting my energy back, when it's properly spring, I think I'll make an effort to socialize more with the hacker types I know. I bet a little more social time would do me good if I were socializing with people who were calming to be around.

MISTER LUKA PANTS: You know that idea we had concerning taking graphics to the printy guys today? There's a problem, which is that by the time you wake up, I'll be asleep. ;_;

You can go ahead and do it without me if you want, the place is next to the Panda Buffet, I can just bring in my graphics later. Or we can do it another day.

--

Now some gamer weenie thoughts.

When I saw '.Hack' or Hack Sign or Dot Hack or whatever the fuck it's called, I'd never played a MMORPG, only text MUDs. Since the population of a MUD tends to be small and kinda bored, I could sorta see people getting involved in Tsukasa's drama. After all, a MUD is basically LJ with fighting.

Now that I've actually played the type of game that .Hack was supposedly taking place in, I must laugh at the concept. You know how worked everyone got about the whole thing, and how the admins were chasing the guy /in character/ and getting really pissed about his special weapon (the one that looks like testacles) and so forth? A big old NOT to that.

So I imagine .Hack taking place in WoW, and it kinda goes like this:

[Tehelfzor] theres this guy who sez he cant log out
[Althea] Where's the red crystal?
[Darkniss] WTS linen bag only 3s!!! pst me!!!
[Jaden] Althea check your quest log
[Tehelfzor] theres this guy who cant log out its totally true
[Tehelfzor] my friend sez he got haxx
[Althea] I did but i cant find it... :(
[Darkniss] WTS linen bag only 3s!!! pst me!!!
[Noobninja] who cant log out
[Jaden] It's up on a hill, it's a big fucking red crystal, just look for it.
[Tehelfzor] this guy sukasa he's like stuck on he cant log out
[Noobninja] thats a girls name
[Boneriffic] tell him tell a gm thye wil help
[Darkniss] WTS linen bag only 3s!!! pst me!!!
[Darkniss] WTS linen bag only 3s!!! pst me!!!
[Althea] LFG [Red Crystal]
[Tehelfzor] gm tryed to ban him he couldnt its so wired
[Tehelfzor] wierd
[Althea] LFG [Red Crystal] Cmon guys pleez???
[Darkniss] WTS linen bag only 3s!!! pst me!!!
[Darkniss] WTS linen bag only 3s!!! pst me!!!
[Darkniss] WTS linen bag only 3s!!! pst me!!!
[Auberlane] /leave general
[Auberlane] Oops. But well. Do you blame me?
[Jaden] Me too dude.
/leave general
You have left channel 1. General

...Somehow, it's just not that dramatic, is it?

World of Warcraft Numa Numa Dance Videos: Holy Shit, This Is A Genre.

Full 6-minute song. Shitty video quality, but I think it's cute how people made their pets and minions dance, and I like the idea that all these people were standing around the gates of Ironforge dancing their butts off while everyone running past was like: o_O

This one cuts off, but it's better timed than the other.

A little dull, since it's just one guy, but the best timed of all of them.

And, as a sorbet to clear the palate: Can't touch this. Ignore the sidebar caption about 'some clever player' -- all orcs dance like that. :D

And now that I've wasted two hours on this, it's time to write some porn.

Crap. How am I gonna write porn with the numa numa song stuck in my head?

If you're a WoW weenie, you may find this video pretty amusing. My favorite part was the retarded rap at the end. "Shut up, noob, this is my rap." "Sorry!"

As for man-lovin' in the woods being sort of a Night Elf thing... well, WoW doesn't have cowboys. Someone had to provide. Auberlane (hunter, lvl 50) says, "You're welcome."

Blizzard's gay rights faux pas has been more than corrected. Frankly, I wasn't really outraged in the first place. Their policy was that your RL status isn't pertinent to your game life, be it race, religion, orientation, or what have you. They were just clumsy about dealing with it. The policy didn't hang together, honestly, and wouldn't unless they completely enforced roleplaying. Which, even as a heavy rper myself, I wouldn't like. It's nice to be able to get on General and go, "Is anyone else getting mad lag in Westfall, or is it me?" As long as people aren't asking me ASL in /say, I don't give a fuck.

You can tell it's the 21st century because instead of doing a happy score-for-our-side dance over the positive press for gay gamers, I'm just glad they finally made a guild recruiting channel. Slapping noobs for guildspam was losing its flavor.

Me: *glomp grope fondle yaoi*
Seebs: Stop being gay at me, I'm like, doing stuff.

Note to self -- do not attack the Seebs in the kitchen. Wait until he's done eating, then ambush him in his room. Also, twelve years of attempted ear-gnawing has not made him decide he likes it after all; this will probably not change. Also, shower, then attack while wet; you will not lose your superpowers by washing off the day's pheromone accumulation, and soap smell is apparently teh sexx.


In other news, we worked up our characters for the game he wants to run on our trip. Yep, paladin. But it's okay; it's a Norse setting, and this guy was a village bully, womanizer, and general ruffian until Odin whapped him upside the head. All the other paladins follow Tyr, but you know, when old One-Eye calls your name, you don't say 'later'. He has the remnants of a beer gut, and still has some trouble with the whole concept of not boning every female he sees. He scratches his ass in front of priests. He would do your mom and brag about it to your dad -- the difference post-epiphany is that he'd then realize that was wrong and be confused by feeling bad about it. As paladins go, this one's going to be quite playable. I even gave him the minimum wisdom for his class, and will have to spend all my stat gains building it up if I want to keep getting my specials. No self-respecting powergamer would ever do that, but I'm all about the roleplay.