Jesse Hajicek

An awesome meme by ravenblack:

If you were intending to buy a Red Wing engineer boots for US$110.00, you could instead buy:

two hundred and ninety-four cigarettes one fortieth of a real human skeleton twenty-eight hand buzzers two hundred and ninety-seven litres of unleaded gasoline (in America) one hundred and forty-six packets of itching powder two cast-iron woks seven kung-fu lessons thirteen litres of Red Bull energy drink fifty-one cups of coffee from a café one third of an entry-level desktop computer

What are you thinking of buying?

I might buy for UK pounds sterlingCanadian dollarsAustralian dollarsEurosUS dollars

Thanks to the perspective provided by this delightful generator, I've decided to go with the boots. As soon as Seebs gets paid. I really hope my shoes hold together until then. The right sole is cracked right across.

... What's that? Buy the boots with my OWN money? Hahahahahahaha! What money? *sigh*

Find your Celestial Choir


Wrote six pages of 'Death's Lieutenant'. Not my best writing day ever, but not bad. I'm still waiting for the happy pills to put my muse to sleep, but for now they've just convinced him to take a break from setting things on fire and come into the office for a half-day.

Oh, I didn't tell you about the happy pills? I'm back on meds. A half-dose this time, to see if maybe that'll help without turning me into a happy stupid marshmallow. I'm pinning a lot of hopes on this. Off meds, I'm too scattered and freaky to have any discipline; on a full dose, I was too apathetic. Discipline is very important to me. I know that sounds laughable to anyone who knows me, since I never have any. Or rather, any that people can see. Because time is weird for me, I can only be disciplined on a very short time scale.

I can't, for instance, regulate my diet, since I can never remember when I last ate or what it was, what's in the fridge, when to go grocery shopping, what I need to put on the list, etc., and I freak out at the crowds of cranky mothers and spastic children that occupy the grocery store. I have the willpower in any given moment to eat what's good for me, eat small portions, or even -- should it be necessary -- function on little to no food for days. (Note that I don't think the latter is a good idea, just that I've sometimes had to.) But since it's not real bright to eat nothing but a green salad and a piece of toast when you suspect your last meal was thirty-six hours ago and you can reasonably expect to forget food for another twenty-four, I tend to eat big meals instead. Usually fast food, since someone else always offers to bring me a burger before I realize I'm hungry. Thus my metabolism is always in famine shutdown mode, and all I give it is crap.

If I could remember just a little more, and freak out just a little less, I could get a handle on that. Frankly, I like veggies more than beef, and fish more than cheese, and fruit more than ice cream. It's just a little more effort; harder to shop for, doesn't keep as long, and can't generally be had at fast food places or cheap restaurants.

I know I have the potential for impressive discipline. I can keep silent when most people would scream, I can play drill sergeant when most people would run like bitches, I can climb mountains with two bum knees, I can hold my temper when I'm seeing red. But I can't keep the simplest daily routine together because time is chopped into random chunks all sproinging around on rubber bands. So. Trying the low dose. If that doesn't work... I don't know what I'll do, but I'll think of something.

Zen-monkery is looking more tempting with each passing year, but I don't think they'd let me keep a Seebs for purposes of sexors. :D

( The first 'what kind of friend are you' quiz that's been remotely accurate for me: )

( Long meme thing. )

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

Okay, you caught me. But at least I don't have that haircut. You know the haircut. The greasy, messy, floppy, eye-covering shag that looks totally designed despite being unattractive and inconvenient. Incidentally, why does it always cover the right eye? I've seen so many spotty lads with that same haircut, and it's always lopsided in the same direction.

Not that I'm entitled to be a haircut snob. I should've told the lady to use that comb-razor doodad a little more; I've got a bit of bowl-cut thing going across my forehead. Oh well, I don't care that much. It's so short I don't have to do a damn thing with it, and that's what matters.

Detour turned cool on the last day. Aside from the Sasuke cosplayer who announced she had no money and then blocked all access to my table for half an hour while she told me a long complainy story that had nothing to do with me, everyone was absolutely delightful and very interested. And frankly I forgive Sasuke, because she looked really sleep-deprived and obviously needed to vent to /someone/. Even the folks who didn't buy anything took the time to look through the print books, which made me happy. Sure, we're there to sell, and we'd like to make enough over the weekend to cover our expenses at least, but mostly the point is to get our name out there and connect. Also it makes us feel appreciated when you really look at the art instead of just flipping past it.

I made more today than Friday and Saturday combined, bringing it to somewhere around 50 bucks; not bad when you don't have anything in your print book but original characters. If I'd had some anime fanart, I probably would've done better. The studio as a whole made a profit; not only did we cover our Detour expenses, we should be able to offset the SakuraCon expenses for Luka and Rain. So that's a win.

I should be working on the chapter 6 cover right now. I sketched a pose and got frustrated with it, handed it to Rah so she could tell me what was wrong with it, and got distracted; when I next looked, she'd done detailed pencils on the whole thing. o_O The woman's a miracle, I tell ya. So all I have to do is ink and color. She's fairly far along on this week's pages, so I think we'll be able to update tomorrow. I'm glad we decided not to skip this week, despite con. I'm starting to feel some momentum coming back, getting excited about Metanoia again, and I want to keep that rolling.

What type of Fae are you?

Unseelie 4 life, bitchazzz.

( Random play meme! )

Maybe I shouldn't have used my Metanoia mix? :D

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind. You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life. Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling. And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

True, dat. I'd totally write for film if I could handle the Industry Bullshit. But writing for comics is quite similar, and it makes me happy. As does the fact that I'm actually putting down words on the third book of the Kastor series right now, and I mean every time I get a spare second I'm in there making with the verbage.

It feels so good to be getting this story out. I've had this impenetrable traffic jam of ideas for so long, I was starting to think nothing would ever happen. But the tow truck arrived, in the form of Rah, and extracted the crashed artwork-truck that was keeping everything else from moving. Traffic flow isn't restored, not nearly, but at least progress is being made.

So if I were to call the entire Kastor series 'The Shadow Kings', would that be too melodramatic for the style of the stories? And, for those of you who haven't been let in on spoilers for the future of the series, what does it suggest to you? I don't want a series name that gives away later books while you're still reading earlier ones, but evocative doesn't equal spoiler... meh, I just suck at naming things.

For the moment, I must whip up studio-store business cards. Luka and Rain are going to set off on their road trip shortly, and I want to be able to send those along. I may have left it too late. We'll see.

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Quality Time
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Quality Time:		12
Physical Touch:		7
Words of Affirmation:		7
Acts of Service:		2
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Yep, always hungry for Seebs-time. Doesn't even have to be 'quality' time really. Just hanging out doing nothing and talking about dumb stuff makes me happier than I can say.

And some agility and stamina enchants on my new dragonscale armor would be nice too. I'll even buy the reagents. :D

Guilt	What is yours?	Explain yourself
Culinary:	Fast-food-restaurant french fries	So skinny and crunchy, so soaked in oil and salt and chemicals...
Literary:	I haven't actually read a whole book (not counting rereading Pratchett for comfort when I'm sick) in a year.	I'm so overstimulated, I can't keep my eyes on the page. I miss reading.
Audiovisual:	The occasional Chick Flick	I hate them, but Seebs sometimes likes them, and I like the ones he likes because he likes them. His liking them makes them cute instead of annoying.
Musical:	Country music	I just plain love the instrumental style. Now if only I could block out the lyrics.
Celebrity:	Keanu Reeves	Yeah, I know he can't act. But I do like to look at him.

Now I tag:-

Nobody. I never tag people for memes. It's here if you feel like doing it.</center>

Tags: memes

Tony Tonic People Iced: Thirty Eight Car Bombs Planted: Two Favorite Weapon 9mm Colt Arms Broken: Twenty Five Eyes Gouged: Twenty Seven Tongues Cut Off: Seven Biggest Enemy: The Icer Get Your HITMAN Name

Okay, okay, I'll get back to work. I was just taking a smoke break. Sheesh.

And now the flipside. Nohari window for your amusement. Don't be shy, I know ya still love me. ^_^

I did that Johari Window thing.

Contribute to mine if you wanna.


I think I finally got moving on the Metanoia script rewrites. I keep shuffling my outline, though. It's hard to keep four plot threads going at once. *whine*

ETA: I think it's really interesting that only a couple hours after I posted it, the window has no words left in 'facade'. I think that means I'm a reasonably accurate judge of myself. Kinda neat to know.

Ganked from prolixe: a survey about SEXORS.

( OMG, you mean Jesse has SEX? )

There's been a meme going around where you ask your flist to write you messages from chars in your fandoms. That looks like a lot of fun, but it's also been going for a while, and I reckon it's time for a new twist.

So here's what we're gonna do: Write a message from one of your original characters or a favorite char in your fandom to one of my characters. I'm not listing /my/ fandoms -- I wanna hear from yours. And er... if something of mine /is/ your fandom, you could even write from, for instance, Milo to Deimos (soulmates!). Whoever you address it to, I'll try to reply in that voice.

*glee* I am so brilliant for thinking of this. :D

ETA: Should I apologize for Star being a jackass? Anyway, if your char sends Star a message, odds are he's going to be extremely rude. Be warned. ^_^

Thanks very much to everyone who answered my poll a few days ago. It took courage to answer a public poll on such a touchy topic, and I really appreciate everyone who shared.

The poll reveals that we have a contradictory attitude toward criticism -- as a group, and in some cases individually. We don't want people to bottle up their concerns or talk behind our backs, but we often don't take it well if they do tell us, and because we know they're the same way, we often avoid saying anything because we know they won't take it any better than we do.

Obviously not an ideal situation. You can't change anyone but yourself, that's an axiom of human interaction. So if we want to make things better, the change has to start at home. So I'm going to give you an assignment. This is even tougher than answering the poll, and I won't think any less of you if you ignore it, but if you feel up to taking on the challenge I encourage you to do so.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

Make an entry stating what topic you want criticism on. Choose a topic you're fairly sure won't make your psyche explode or your friends die screaming; this is an experiment, and you can say so if you think it'll help.

Explain as clearly as you can how it should be stated, and how you will take it. Invite readers to comment with any problems, concerns, or thoughts they've had about you, within the stated parameters. Now, here's the really hard part: if any comments cross your stated boundaries, you cannot answer them. You may give a canned answer, like 'does not compute' or 'please rephrase within the parameters given', but you may not put any thought or emotion into your reply to those comments.

Then sit back and watch the progress of your experiment. Did people understand and follow your guidelines? Did you have trouble stating them? How hard was it to ignore comments that weren't in the right 'wavelength'? Were you able to respond in the way you decided to respond? If it didn't work out, where were the weak links in your process?

Good luck! I'm cheering for you!

I'll be making my own criticism-invitation post shortly, probably after I've had some sleep. The silly meme I did the other day doesn't count. ;p

Stolen from... well, everybody.

Ten ways you know you're reading a fic by Chartreuse

1: The protagonist is a chilly badass with poor social skills.

2. The love interest is smarter and prettier than the protagonist.

3. Either there's a dead lover in the protagonist's past, or a lover dies at the end.

4. There's only one real plot; the subplots are just guywires for it.

5. Abuse of commas, as in, between every phrase, and every other phrase, as if someone with emphysema is reading, haltingly, aloud.

6. Partial failure of Sue resistance is evident whenever the protagonist is described. He's beautiful, graceful, imposing... oh wait, and stubbly, and has a dumb expression on his face, so he's not a Sue. :D

7. Violence is described (or drawn) in loving detail with flights of purplitude, but sex is either glossed over entirely or stumbled through with an awkward combination of clinical bluntness and cryptic metaphor.

8. The important female characters are butch and sensible.

9. The point of view is so limited that descriptive passages are littered with 'it seemed' and 'apparently' because the character can't really know.

10. The bad guy is basically Sephiroth.


I'm sure I could've done better if my brain were online. Hey, here's an opportunity for you to practice giving crits, and for me to practice taking them! Make with the mockery, darlings, I will thank you for it. I'm not sensitive about my writing; I honestly believe it's pretty damn good, and also that even the greats have mockable flaws, so I don't mind at all having the warts pointed out. Especially if they're funny. :D

You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a
solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his
inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom.
The Hermit's home is the natural world and it
is by being in tune with that world that he
learns the laws of nature and learn how they
operate within himself. His path is a lonely
one as he lives in silence and has for
companionship only his own internal rhythms.
But those crossing his path are touched by his
light and wisdom. Though often alone, he
manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet
him and guides those who chose to follow him on
a path towards enlightenment. Image from The
Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.
http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/thoth/


Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


For my next trick, I will successfully tell the difference between "I'm starting to feel a bit less awful" and "I am all better", recognize that I am in the former case rather than the latter, and resist the temptation to throw myself back into the shark pool after only one day's rest.

If my lovely and talented assistant will please place the blindfold on me... and would a member of the audience please confirm that these are not trick knives, and that they're quite sharp...

Now watch in amazement as I don't juggle them.

Ooh! Aah! Spectacular!

I got this great concept for the Batgirl design meme. I thought about a chick who'd been training from childhood to be Batgirl. Not one of these cutesy Batgirls with the figure of a stripper or a high school cheerleader, no. Rock-hard and defined, with thighs like tree trunks and small, high boobs that are more pec than fat. Call me insane, but that's sexy as hell to me. There were going to be goggles. There was going to be a bat tattoo, and hair slicked back and combed into those ear points, a la Wolverine.

But my sketch sucked so bad I threw it away. I needed Luka and Rahn to give me permission to toss it. I've trained myself never to throw art away; it's a bad habit to get into, and I don't want to find myself thinking, "Aw crap, I know how to fix that page, and I put nine hours into it, but now it's crumpled and has coffee grounds on it." This, though...

It looked like Star's body with a tiny melted Barbie head, insect eyes, and play-doh tits. I was never that great at drawing women, but this was a masterpiece of yech.

So yeah. I have Teh Suck today. I solemnly hope my mojo deigns to put in an appearance tomorrow, because I have an update to finish. It's damned discouraging to draw something so very bad you can't save it. Makes you afraid to pick up a pencil after that. At least, it's like that for me. If I didn't have a deadline to meet, I wouldn't even try. Thank God for deadlines, I guess. Bleah.

Edit: ( taking quizzes instead of doing anything productive. Shut up. It works for me. )

Stoled from brokenangelred:

1. Would you rather kill a puppy with your bare hands or make out with your father? Well, I could probably handle the Dad-snoggage with the help of a few shots of Jack, but I think Dad would be traumatized, so... sorry, baby doggie, you're goin' down.

2. What would be worse for the world: One giant (approx. 30 feet tall) cybernetic Hitler, or if all food screamed when you ate it? Gaah, I don't even like Pop Rocks because they make too much noise. So I guess it's Fuhrer-zilla for me.


3. Zombies become a very harsh reality. Sensing the ethical code society has instilled in you slipping away, you decide to start killing everything that moves with what weapon? An armored truck. And when that fails, napalm.


4. When charging into battle, your war cry is? Siddown, bitches!


5. A temporal rift has opened up while you were in the bathroom and sucked you into the distant, distant past. Where do you pray to fucking God that you don't end up? Anywhere before the invention of toilet paper. No, wait. Anywhere before the invention of lubricated condoms. Maybe I should just go to 1983 and beat up my elementary school teachers.

6. Ninjas vs. Pirates: Who wins? Defend your answer. Pirates. They have explosives. Ninjas are hard to hit one-on-one, but lob a couple mortar shells at their mountain hideout and they run crying for Mommy. I know this from experience.


7. It's your wedding day. However, the night before ants crawled into your head and drove you insane. Whilst in the thralls of madness, you pick what song as your wedding ballad? Talking Heads, 'Once in a Lifetime' -- because that IS our song, but as ballads go, I just can't see my parents dancing to it. Well, okay, I can see my mom trying, and it's adorable. Huh, maybe there are ants in my head already.


8. You're driving around and you see an Asian dude on a Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle with a sword strapped to his back. The first thought that comes to your mind is: Crap, somebody's Mary Sue got loose, and he was clearly written by someone with shitty taste in motorcycles. (Second thought would, of course, be, "If I beat him in a fight, would he let me bone him?")


9. The Battle: A Pit Bull vs. A Pit Bull's body weight in ill-tempered weasels. You place your bets on: Utterly the weasels. The pit bull would lock jaws on one of them and be dismayed and confused when that didn't take care of the rest of them. Before it figured that dilemma out, bam! Weasel chow.


10. A serious Dance-Dance Revolution accident leaves you with special powers. Unfortunately the powers aren't all that super. It seems that all you can do is: Levitate over wet floors.


11. What alcohol do you drink when you absolutely want the whole world to know how much you hate everyone? Vodka tonic, same as always. Why would I change my drink for you people? Don't tell me what to drink, bitches. (When I'm drinking Bloody Marys, you know I'm feeling sociable -- it's necessary to have that celery stick to gesture with.)


12. You have sinned grossly against God and country. Your punishment is to be eaten alive by one of God's creatures. Luckily, you get to pick what creature that is: Seebs. ^_^


13. In your most humble opinion, what do you feel is the most vile and savage swearword you can spew forth unto another person: I'm having fun with 'cuntpuncher' right now, but it'll be something different next week. (Although seriously, if I call someone 'asshole', it's a good bet I'm actually mad.)


14. You get to change the name of the state you are living in. You choose: Why change it? Minnesota is fun to say. Though if the Ojibwe word for 'freeze one day, roast the next' is equally fun to say, I'd go with that.


15. Which animal would totally eat you if it could? Seebs. ^________^


16. Sexiest number between 1 and 10: 2, of course. 3 only leads to awkwardness, at least after the age of 25.


17. You are carrying your drink back from the bar when you accidentally run into this girl, spilling your drink on her. She's being a total bitch about it but, c'mon, it was totally just an accident. Her boyfriend subsequently challenges you to fisticuffs. Name two friends you'd want on your side in a fight: Rah, because she's never seen me fight and wants to, and Luka, because I have a suspicion he bites. Nothing like having a snarling hippie jaw-locked on your kneecap to throw you off your game.


18. If you could, what historical figure would you totally like to peg in the junk with a brick? Don't say Hitler, you uncreative fuck: I was going to say Abraham Lincoln just for the Fight Club reference, but now that I think about it, I'd rather wallop Achilles for not letting Patroclus in on his boycott plan. Poor Patroclus. He was only trying to help.


19. What would it cost to make you willingly and knowingly contract pubic lice: Empirically? An hour and a half with a hot but vapid emo boy. Oh, you mean now? I guess I'd do it for a grand or so. I'm not squeamish.


20. Think of the grossest name a strip club could possibly have: Droopy's.